"I'll make your checks out to Carolyn of course, butyou can cash them here if you like, or I can direct deposit them foryou. I chose direct deposit, and now had a job, as a female! Audreyshowed up and I watched as she was fitted, mom and Cheryl fussing aroundher like little bees, marking and pinning. When it was my turn, like mysister, I was laced into the corselet I would have to wear. Audrey wasnot aware that mom had helped me make some very important changes, sowhen I stood on that dais to be fitted, she saw the thin cleft in mypanties. "Mom!" "Yes dear, I know." My dress was not like the otherbridesmaids. Theirs were an ugly yellow satin and puffy lace concoction,with straight skirts and round necklines. Mine was a very light greenwith a sweetheart neckline, tapered satin bodice and a flared skirt thatwas tea length. When Cheryl was done and I changed back into my skirt and blouse, Itold mom and Audrey that I was now working there. "That's very niceCarolyn! No more sleeping in. The light was bright but not harsh on the eyes. It didn't seem to come from any one direction or single source but from everywhere. There were no colors other than black and white.The people I saw - or men I should say, they were all men - dark against the bright mist and other than broad physical proportions, featureless. They never spoke. However, as it may sound, when a man came up to me I could sense his emotions and my emotions would seem to synchronize with his.Let me try to explain. Remember, I said I felt detached. Somehow, I knew I was there to be assessed, to be bartered or purchased. That didn't upset me in the least. It seemed so natural, as did everything else. I wasn't upset, pleased, excited or anxious. I was disconnected from my emotions. I was just there. Time did not exist. I could have been there minutes, an hour or longer, I do not know. I was not aware of the passing of time.During that timeless interval, a dozen or so men approached me-one at a time-and looked.
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